 I’ve been doing therapy for about 10 years now and I have worked with many couples and I wanted to share one of the most common problems that I hear about and see on my couch: that is the pursuer-distancer dynamic.
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Today we’re going to talk about the Sound Relationship House, a theory from John Gottman after decades of research and studying couples. This theory provides a nice structure for a relationship. As you can see, trust and commitment are pillars in a relationship, meaning that if one or both of them fall, the whole house comes down. When that happens, such as after an affair, you have to start from scratch and rebuild the foundation and go up.
Today I wanted to talk about couples and relationships. The pandemic tested a lot of them, am I right? Across the board, similarities between various types of relationships, whether poly, monogamous, queer or heterosexual, most people desire better communication, creating shared meaning or values with one another -- meaning what is the goal of the couple together -- and navigating personal differences. Most people want to feel more supported, committed, and understood.
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