Transcript: Hi, I’m Laurel. I’m a licensed therapist, and today’s post is about the number one communication hack [which also happens to be] the only thing I ever get tired of saying as a therapist. I want to share with you because I feel like everyone can benefit from it. You certainly don’t need to come to therapy to contemplate it.
That hack is: you should call instead of text. Now I know that might set off all kinds of [alarm bells.] You might be thinking, I don’t love talking on the phone, or maybe it’s too much hassle, maybe you’re just like exhausted after a day of work, and I get it, totally.
Text really is most effectively used to talk about logistics. Like, hey, what time is dinner tonight? or Sorry, I’m running 10 minutes late. Those are great things to text. Can you pick up some milk on your way home. Text is also great for sending jokes, memes, [and] other lighthearted things. But for communicating anything that has some substance to it. it’s really lacking. So [consider calling for] any kind of delicate conversation, anything that has some emotion behind it that might be a little complex. When you send a text instead of call, you deprive any other person of hearing your warmth, your love, your concern for them, and your care, and both of you deserve to have that be part of the conversation.
[Edit: I’m not suggesting you surprise people with phone calls out of the blue. For some people, that might spike their anxiety and put them on the defensive. You can use text to set up a call so they’re not surprised.]
So if there’s something that’s even just the slightest bit delicate or emotional or tense -- which may lead you to want to be less direct to not have to deal with seeing what their reaction is going to be – that’s probably a sign that you should call. So today as you’re moving to your day, if there’s something that feels like, OK that’s pretty personal or maybe even just like a little bit tense, make it a call instead of a text and see how it goes.
is a feminist therapist offering online therapy to California residents for anxiety, transitions, and trauma.