What I Learned Caring For Clients With Cancer: Reflections From A Trauma Therapist
by Daniella Mohazab
Daniella Mohazab, AMFT
Daniella is an EMDR therapist supporting people in California who are coping with cancer and their loved ones.
During my year training at Cancer Support Community Los Angeles (CSCLA), I worked directly with cancer patients and their loved ones providing mental health services. During that time I lost my mother to breast cancer myself, and I found that working in space brought a sense of belonging and community that I realized was very important for my clients to find for themselves as well. CSCLA was founded on the belief that community helps increase the chances of surviving cancer versus going through treatment alone. This formed the basis of my holistic approach to working with all clients.
Cancer's Emotional Impact
Cancer brings lifeβs pain points and challenges to the forefront. It magnifies experiences that may have once rested beneath the surface. Relationships, daily routines, friendships, family dynamics, and work-life balance can all feel the impact of a cancer diagnosis. Overall, your values, fears, and dreams all get louder during cancer treatment, altering how one interacts with the world.
One of the biggest shifts that I noticed with my patients and in the community involved our perception of time. Cancer brings heightened awareness to the quality and length of life. This new perspective can trigger a range of emotions, from anxiety and fear to a deep sense of gratitude and urgency. Navigating this emotional landscape is undeniably hard, but prioritizing mental health can make the journey more manageable.
Prioritizing Mental and Emotional Health During Cancer Treatment
During cancer treatments, taking care of your mental health is more important than ever. I was honored to walk alongside cancer patients and their loved ones during this time. Here are some key strategies to help you maintain emotional well-being:
1. Setting Boundaries
Cancer necessitates a reevaluation of social engagements and personal relationships. You have the right to pick and choose the social situations that feel supportive and nurturing. Some invitations may be harder to decline, while others may feel necessary for maintaining normalcy. Itβs okay to set boundaries that protect your emotional space. Surround yourself with people who genuinely support you and respect your journey.
2. Practicing Self-Care
Self-care isn't just about physical rest; it also involves nurturing your emotional and mental health. Taking quiet moments for reflection, engaging in hobbies, or other holistic practices, prioritizing activities that rejuvenate your spirit is important. Self-care can provide a much-needed sense of control and normalcy during a time of uncertainty.
As a therapist I saw an increase in the importance of members being able to say βnoβ to social outings or engagements. People care, but sometimes they donβt understand the deep pain that the cancer experience can bring one through. It can feel alienating at times to be around others, and it is okay to not want to go through this.
3. Re-Examining Relationships
One of the most challenging aspects of a cancer diagnosis is deciding how and when to share the news with others. You have the autonomy to choose who knows about your cancer journey and to what extent. You are under no obligation to share details unless you feel comfortable doing so. Navigating this can be emotionally complex, but setting boundaries on this topic can help maintain your sense of control.
For example, the clients that I worked with navigated the level of what was said when starting to date someone new, if they chose to disclose information. I also saw the level of disclosure in what individuals chose to share with their friends and family. Some found that the more they shared, the more input they got from others that they did not necessarily want. That unwanted input caused an increase in emotions that they did not feel comfortable with. You can choose which pieces of information are shared to which individuals.
4. Managing Logistics and Control
Cancer can feel like a major loss of control. From treatment schedules to physical changes, so much feels dictated by the diagnosis. Because cancer creates so much uncertainty, finding other areas of control can be empowering. This might involve organizing daily routines, setting personal goals, or making choices about nutrition and lifestyle that feel meaningful to you.
When my mother went through cancer treatment, I found it important to go for a walk every day. No matter what the current day or the future days had in store for me, I knew I could rely on the walks that I had each morning.
Reclaiming Control and Finding Support
A sense of control is one of the most significant challenges when dealing with cancer. The unpredictability of the illness and the uncertainty of outcomes can leave people feeling vulnerable. Finding ways to reclaim control in areas that are within your power can offset that vulnerability a little bit. This could be through setting boundaries, making decisions about how to spend your time, or choosing who to confide in about your journey.
What Can You Do?
While cancer is a complex experience, there are ways to support mental well-being:
1. Build You Care Team
Cancer is so personal. Itβs important to work with a team you trust.
Your oncologist will be the leader of this care team, naturally. But other providers may include:
General care provider
Case manager
Social worker
Psychiatry (we recommend finding someone who specializes in psycho-oncology)
Dietitian (we strongly recommend working with a no-diet dietitian over a nutritionist. Dietitians have advanced training in dietetics and can interpret research and data appropriately. There is no standard of training for nutritionists, and many accidentally make poor recommendations that can lead to health problems and eating disorders.)
Therapist with specialization in cancer issues
2. Support Nervous System Regulation
Because cancer treatment can keep the nervous system in overdrive, mind-body approaches can help calm mast cell activity:
Deep breathing exercises
Meditation and mindfulness to lower inflammation
Use a transcutaneous vagal nerve stimulator. These little TENS units attach to your ear and stimulate the vagus nerve externally. Research on these units is promising.
Gentle movement (yoga, walking, stretching) to support circulation.
3. Consider Therapy to Manage the Emotional Toll
Cancer can be overwhelming, especially when it affects mental health. Therapy can provide tools to:
Cope with medical anxiety
Address the emotional impact of a life threatening illness
Learn strategies for managing stress and nervous system regulation
Holistic Therapy for Cancer, Anxiety, and Depression
If cancer is contributing to your mental health symptoms, you can become your own best advocate. Gather information, build your care team, and center your mental health. The mind-body connection plays a powerful role in both chronic illness and emotional well-being. Addressing both is key to healing.
At our practice, we specialize in holistic therapy for anxiety and depression. We love helping clients navigate medical issues with compassionate, integrative care.
Holistic Therapy In Los Angeles, San Francisco, And Beyond
If you or a loved one has recently been diagnosed with cancer or any other health concern, it's okay to seek help, set boundaries, and prioritize your well-being. You are not alone on this journey. If you are experiencing the emotional complexities of cancer, we would love to support you.
