COUPLES THERAPY
Couples Therapy in San Francisco, Los Angeles & Beyond
We are all born with a basic, biological need to connect and feel loved by others. Then it gets complicated.
Are you struggling any of these common couples problems?
Feeling like your partner doesn't listen or understand you
Feeling stuck in patterns of conflict that don’t get resolved
Sensing a growing distance between you and you partner, like you’re roommates instead of a couple
Feeling unsure if the relationship can be salvaged
Feeling disappointed by the gap between where you are and what you hoped for in this relationship
Missing the emotional and physical closeness you once shared
These are great reasons to start couples therapy. Couples therapy can help you improve communication, decrease conflict, and restore feelings of closeness and harmony. If both you and your partner are bought in, the odds of improvement with couples therapy are high.
Improve Communication and Reduce Conflict With Gottman Method Couples Therapy in San Francisco and Los Angeles
Relationships can be both immensely rewarding and profoundly challenging. It takes a lot of work and dedication. Conflict and miscommunication can be draining and anxiety-provoking. Sometimes, you need an expert guide.
Couples often find themselves entangled in conflicts over a range of topics. Certain themes tend to surface repeatedly. Misunderstandings can lead to heated discussions. Our Gottman therapists are here to help you unravel these communication knots. We'll help you create understanding, empathy, and give you concrete tools to strengthen your relationship.
What To Expect in Couples Therapy
Common Reasons To Start Couples Therapy
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Poor communication or frequent misunderstandings can erode a relationship's foundation. There are tools and techniques we can teach you to reduce these problems. Through practice in a safe and structured environment, you'll gain confidence to use these tools on your own.
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Couples may struggle to resolve disputes effectively, leading to ongoing tension. What would your relationship feel like with less conflict? We'd like to help you find out.
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Wouldn't it be magical if your partner always knew what you wanted and hoped for? Sadly, no one can do this, and if we expect our partners to read our minds, we set them up to fail. Sometimes we think what we want should be obvious. We may not even realize we didn't communicate our expectations. Our therapists can help both of you make your expectations and hopes explicit. This sets both of you up for success. When you're both able to show up for each other better, you'll feel more connected.
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Trust breaches, including infidelity, can severely strain a relationship. It may not even originate in your relationship. Sometimes trust issues are inherited from others. Regardless, it can feel impossible to overcome. But with the right guidance and commitment from both partners, it's possible to create new trust and meaning. From that meaning, your relationship can feel more rewarding than ever.
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Diminished emotional intimacy or sexual dissatisfaction can prompt couples to seek therapy. It can be difficult to address directly, but we can help. You deserve a rich, connected, and satisfying sex life.
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Couples may feel emotionally distant or disconnected from each other. It can feel impossible to reconnect. Often, both people miss each other deeply but don't know where to start the journey back to each other. Other therapists can guide you and help you reunite and deepen your connection.
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Money-related conflicts or financial instability can put a strain on a partnership. Fights about money have been proven to be worse than any other topic. These fights are both intensely emotional and deeply unsettling. Our therapists can help you unravel the emotional tangles of your money stories and create financial alliance.
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Even happy transitions can be stressful and take time to adjust to. Major life changes, such as relocation, job changes, or the birth of children, can challenge a relationship. There are new roles and responsibilities, and a new level of vulnerability between each other. We can help you make these transitions with more ease, joy, and meaning.
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Disagreements over parenting styles, discipline, or family planning can create friction. The burden of caregiving can feel lopsided, leading to resentment. Resentment is toxic to any relationship. We can help you find common ground, restore balance, and share in the deep meaning of raising a family.
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Balancing household responsibilities can be a common source of tension for couples. Differences in expectations and understanding of what constitutes a fair share of chores can lead to discord. In many relationships, one partner may feel burdened by an unequal distribution of tasks. This unequal distribution leads to frustration and resentment. Addressing these disparities is an essential part of our couples therapy services. We work with couples to create equitable and sustainable household arrangements. We believe this is foundational to a more harmonious and fulfilling partnership. Through open communication and collaborative problem-solving, we help couples find practical solutions that meet both partners' needs. This creates the balance necessary for a thriving relationship.
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Differing cultural backgrounds or religious beliefs can create strain on a relationship. They're also not impossible to balance. We can help you figure out how to hold onto your values and culture while creating a culture of meaning within your relationship.
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Personal issues, such as mental health concerns, substance abuse, or unresolved trauma, can affect a relationship. It can be too difficult to see from the inside what needs to be done. Our therapists offer compassionate objectivity. This objectivity allows us to provide guidance for how to heal individually and as a couple.
Restoring Love Through Gottman Method Couples Therapy
At Laurel Therapy College, we use Gottman Method Couples therapy. While there are many styles of couples therapy, we think Gottman is the best. It provides a structured plan and supportive environment to address the challenges you’re facing. Our therapists offer compassion as well as tools and strategies to rebuild and strengthen your partnership. Whether you want to improve communication, decrease conflict, or navigate major life transitions with grace, our goal is always to foster a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
Couples therapy can empower you and your partner to build a happier, healthier future together. Our expert therapists are dedicated to guiding you toward a stronger relationship.
Your Personalized Journey Through Couples Therapy
The first session is always the two of you and your therapist together. Then we'll meet individually to understand each of your goals and expectations. This initial step helps us tailor a personalized plan for your unique situation. Then we'll come together to work on reducing conflicts, strengthening connection, and nurturing shared meaning.
Couples Therapy Expertise You Can Trust
Our therapists have extensive training and experience in couples therapy. They have special expertise in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. We're committed to creating a safe and inclusive space for you. This means ensuring that therapy is sex-positive, body-positive, anti-racist, and gender-affirming.
The Love Map: A Couples Therapy Blueprint for Connection
One of our first tasks is to build a 'love map.' This tool helps us delve into your partner's desires, history, and preferences, creating a more profound bond. Even if you've been together for years, there's always more to uncover. This is often a fun and meaningful process for everyone.
We warmly invite LGBTQ+ couples to our practice and offer an environment of affirmation and empathy for the unique stressors that affect queer and trans people and relationships.
FAQs: Couples Therapy
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Yes, online couples therapy can be highly effective. Research has shown that online therapy yields similar results to in-person therapy. It also offers convenience, accessibility, and the opportunity to work with a Gottman therapist from the comfort of your own space.
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In short, yes. Most couples find that they can establish a strong emotional connection with their couples therapist. The effectiveness of the therapy depends on the couples therapist's skill and the couple's willingness to engage.
We’ve also found that couples are more willing to have difficult conversations and be vulnerable when they’re in the comfort of their homes during couples therapy.
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Online couples therapy with us takes place through video calls. You'll connect with your couples therapist virtually using our HIPAA-compliant therapy platform. If you and your partner aren’t able to be in the same room, that’s fine. You’ll both receive a login link to log into couples therapy for your session. From there, sessions are just the same as in-person therapy.
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The platforms we use prioritize your privacy and confidentiality. We use secure, encrypted communication channels to protect your personal information. They are HIPAA compliant and work well. We also have backup tools to use because technology is imperfect.
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When choosing an online couples therapist, there are two important things to consider. The first is their training and experience. The second is how well you click with them. Research has proven that these are the two biggest predictors of effective couples therapy. Reading reviews and seeking recommendations can also be helpful.
Why You Should Choose Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Every partnership is different. So why should you choose a specific type of therapy that everyone seems to be doing? Because Gottman Method Couples Therapy is super customized and research-backed. Developed by the distinguished Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach can be your pathway to a more profound bond with your significant other.
Proven Techniques To Help Couples
Gottman Method Couples Therapy paves a structured, tailor-made route toward a healthier relationship. It starts with a comprehensive assessment, highlighting on your strengths and areas that need attention. This therapeutic journey isn't only about untangling conflicts. It's about mastering the art of effective communication.
Why Choose the Gottman Method?
Enhanced Communication
The Gottman approach arms both partners with tools for enriching their communication. It's like learning a new language that facilitates genuine understanding.
Conflict Resolution Expertise
If you often find yourselves stuck in arguments, this method gives you conflict resolution skills you can actually use. Say farewell to heated disputes and welcome productive dialogues.
What Can Gottman Method Couples Therapy Help With?
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy can serve as a guiding light for couples dealing with these challenges:
High Tensions: If your relationship is an ongoing battle, this method can help you find common ground.
Communication Puzzles: If conversing with your partner feels like a maze, Gottman Method can bring clarity.
Feeling Overwhelmed: When the pressures of life get too big, Gottman method gives you tools to ease the burden.
Resentment and Emotional Distancing: If emotional disconnect and bitterness have crept into your relationship, the Gottman Method can help you rediscover each other.
Crossroads Moments: When you stand at a crossroads in your relationship, uncertain about the next steps, Gottman therapy can give you direction.
Unrealized Potential: If you sense untapped potential in your relationship, the Gottman Method can be the key to unlock it.
Transformation Through Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Meet Lisa and Spencer, a couple who had been together for seven years. Their relationship was marred by frequent disputes, poor communication, and a growing emotional chasm. They often found themselves in petty disagreements, frequently pointing fingers. Resentment had taken root, and they feared their relationship might be unfixable.
They chose to seek assistance from a Gottman therapist, and the outcomes were nothing short of remarkable.
With the help of their therapist, Lisa and Spencer found new approaches to escape their old patterns. They noticed the "Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse" in their interactions and stopped them in their tracks. They learned to express their concerns without assigning blame. They honed their ability to genuinely listen to each other, valuing their partner's perspective.
As time progressed, their fiery disagreements waned, replaced by meaningful conversations. They felt heard, understood, and, most importantly, they felt close again. Couples therapy reignited the spark in their relationship.
If you want a healthier, more harmonious relationship, consider Gottman Method Couples Therapy. This evidence-based approach can equip you and your partner with the tools and skills you need to build a robust, enduring connection. Whether you reside in San Francisco, Los Angeles, or any corner of California or Florida, we can help.
Navigating Common Communication Pitfalls Through Gottman Method Couples Therapy
We'll equip you with strategies to overcome common and harmful communication obstacles. Some of these obstacles much be the "Four Horsemen of Relationship Doom" by Dr. Gottman.
If we identify one of these elements is present, we'll work on implementing the antidote:
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Antidote: offering feedback without blame
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Antidote: replacing disdain with respect
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Antidote: responding constructively instead of reactively.
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Antidote: learning to engage rather than withdraw.
The antidotes to these pitfalls take time and practice to implement, but our therapists are here to help. You don't have to do it alone. Our therapists can help you and your partner learn new strategies and approaches to decrease conflict and increase feelings of love and connectedness.
FAQs: Gottman Method Couples Therapy
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Gottman Method Couples Therapy is an evidence-based approach developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. It focuses on improving communication, conflict resolution, and emotional connection in relationships.
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Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a structured approach that is also customized for each couple. It begins with an assessment of your relationship's strengths and areas for growth. It examines how you deal with conflict. Then, you and your partner get personalized tools to address your issues and strengthen your bond.
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The Gottman Method can benefit most couples. Whether you're facing conflict, communication issues, emotional distance, or simply want to enhance your relationship, Gottman couples therapy has a strategy. It is versatile and tailored to each couple's unique needs.
There are some times when couples therapy isn't recommended. If we feel one of these issues is present, we'll tell you upfront.
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Gottman method couples therapy can address a wide range of issues. We often work with communication problems, conflict, trust issues, parenting challenges, and more. Your Gottman therapist provides a safe space to explore and resolve your relationship concerns.
Anonymous client, quoted with permission:
“My partner and I did therapy [at Laurel Therapy Collective] and it was some of the best money we ever spent.”
What People Are Saying About Couples Therapy at Laurel Therapy Collective
Anonymous client, quoted with permission:
“You’ve helped us so much. I can’t imagine going back to how we felt when we first started.”
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Recommended reading for San Francisco and Los Angeles Couples:
Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman & Nan Silver
Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
OUR THERAPISTS WHO SPECIALIZE IN COUPLES THERAPY IN LOS ANGELES, SANTA CRUZ & SAN FRANCISCO
Coriann Papazian, LMFT
Specializing in adults and couples
Alexis Bibler, AMFT
Specializing in EMDR and couples
Other Teletherapy Services in California
Experience the power of personalized online therapy at Laurel Therapy Collective. We are dedicated to providing customized support for a wide range of mental health issues. Our Los Angeles and San Francisco therapists also serve Santa Cruz and are here to guide you through anxiety, trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, LGBTQ concerns, couples' therapy, holistic therapy, therapy for lawyers, enneagram therapy, and even the complexities of adolescence. By fostering a safe and inclusive environment that promotes anti-racism, body positivity, and sex positivity, we empower you to embrace your unique identity and find healing. You deserve healing and self-discovery.
It’s a scene you know too well: You and your partner are having a conversation, and before you know it, it escalates into a heated argument. You both leave the conversation feeling upset and more distant than before. Sometimes it feels like an emotional apocalypse within our relationships. Here’s what’s actually going on and what to do about it.