Is It A Toxic Work Environment Or Simply A Bad Fit For You?
Finding the right fit job isn't as simple as matching your skills with a job description. In fact, finding an ideal job with great company culture can be as challenging as finding a great partner. The workplace environment itself can play a huge role in how fulfilled you feel. If you've ever questioned whether your workplace is toxic or simply not the right match for you, you're not alone. This is common among lawyers and other professionals, where the clash between personality and workplace culture can be big. Here are some things to consider.
Identifying A Toxic Work Environment vs. Personality Fit
What Is A Toxic Work Environment?
Let's clarify what we mean by a toxic work environment versus a poor personality fit. A toxic workplace is one where behaviors like bullying, harassment, or discrimination go unchecked. It can also be a workplace with unreasonable expectations of its employees and lack of concern for their wellbeing. For example, a law firm with a high annual billable hours requirement and no flexibility. If your company only cares about profits and productivity at all costs, the environment is likely toxic. These environments can have detrimental effects on mental health, productivity, and overall well-being. They're also all too common.
What Is A Poor Workplace Personality Fit?
A poor personality fit refers to a mismatch between your traits and the expectations and culture of your workplace. This misalignment can manifest in various ways. You might feel constantly stressed, undervalued, or out of place despite the absence of toxicity. You might struggle with specific policies or with trusting authority and management even if you haven't had negative interactions with them. You might also feel like you can never work hard enough or be productive enough to feel secure. These are common experiences, and don't mean there's necessarily something wrong with your workplace.
Common Challenges for Driven Professionals
Driven professionals, including lawyers and executives, often encounter big challenges in the workplace. When there's a disconnect between your personality and organizational culture, common workplace challenges can feel enormous.
Employees with people-pleasing tendencies may find themselves overwhelmed by demanding clients or colleagues. Nonstop engagement with these people leads to burnout and feelings of inadequacy. Those with anxiety or a fear of authority may struggle in environments where assertiveness and confidence are valued. People who like routine may struggle in a fast-paced, ever-changing environment.
We want to be clear that we're not blaming people for having personality traits or sensitivities. This is part of being human. There are simply some things that struggle to go together. Orange juice and toothpaste both taste good separately, but taste terrible combined. It's the same principle here. The great news is that if your personality is making things hard for you, you have a lot more control and more options.
Toxic Work Environment Signs
A toxic workplace has certain red flags. While every organization is different, some common signs of toxicity include:
Widespread gossip or rumors that create a culture of mistrust
Lack of transparency from leadership about decision-making processes
Micromanagement that stifles autonomy and creativity
Discrimination or harassment that go unaddressed
High turnover rates and low morale among employees
Concern for profit at all costs
A general sense of scarcity or fear
If you notice these patterns in your workplace, it may be indicative of systemic issues. Depending on your role, they may not be yours to fix. Still, they warrant attention and potentially intervention.
Solutions To A Toxic Workplace
If you determine that your workplace is toxic, you can explore potential solutions, which may include:
Having conversations with HR or management about your concerns
Seeking support from trusted colleagues or external resources, such as therapy
Exploring job opportunities that offer better workplace culture
Seeking other careers that align better with your values and goals
Is It A Toxic Work Environment Or A Toxic Boss?
It's also possible that your general workplace is great, but you're supervised by a toxic boss. While they share some common traits, there are differences between the two.
A toxic workplace has systemic issues that permeate across departments and levels. These issues may include high levels of gossip, lack of transparency, and a culture of fear or mistrust.
A toxic boss is a specific person who has abusive or manipulative behavior towards their employees. This could include belittling comments, micromanagement, or favoritism. If you work for a small company, a single person can poison the whole environment. But in a larger company, they have less impact. While a toxic workplace can impact employees' overall experience, a toxic boss has a more direct effect on you. The departure of a toxic boss often leads to big improvements in the work environment.
Having a toxic boss can feel more isolating than having a toxic work culture because colleagues in other departments aren't having your experience. They may love working for the company and have higher morale. Feeling alone in a difficult experience always makes it harder.
Assessing Your Personality Fit For Your Workplace
Assessing whether your personality aligns with your workplace culture involves some self-reflection. Consider the following questions:
Do you feel energized and motivated by the work you do?
Would you like this work if you were working with different people?
Do you dread going to the office each day? Why?
Are your values and beliefs similar to those of your organization?
Do you find it challenging to communicate with your colleagues? Why?
Are you able to use your strengths and talents in your current role?
Do you feel respected and valued for your contributions, or do you constantly second-guess yourself?
Reflecting on these questions can help you determine whether the problem is the environment or not.
The Impact of Relational Trauma on Workplace Relationships
Relational trauma can influence how we interact with others in the workplace. If you grew up with a critical or demanding caregiver, or were punished for small mistakes, it can impact how you experience work settings.
How Relational Trauma Shows Up At Work
People who experienced criticism or high expectations as kids may feel hypervigilant to similar dynamics at work. They may interpret constructive feedback as personal attacks, leading to defensiveness or anxiety. Those who were taught to fear authority or anticipate punishment for mistakes may struggle with feeling secure in their jobs. None of these are your fault. It's very common for adults to still be impacted by childhood experiences. Even if you had a great childhood, no one had a perfect upbringing. Our feelings about structure and authority start young.
Relational Trauma and Workplace Authority
Relational trauma can impact our ability to trust others and feel calm in the workplace. If we were let down or betrayed by authority figures in the past, we may carry a distrust or skepticism into our professional relationships. This can include difficulty collaborating, mistrust of supervisors, or a tendency to keep others at arm's length.
What happened to you growing up isn't your fault. But it is your responsibility to heal and grow into your full potential now. Recognizing the influence of your own sensitivities on your workplace relationships is the first step towards healing. Through therapy, we can learn to identify and challenge patterns stemming from past experiences. From there, we can have healthier and more fulfilling interactions with coworkers and supervisors.
People Pleasing, Workaholism, and Burnout: The High Cost of Overcommitment
People pleasing and workaholism are personal traits that can make a healthy work environment feel toxic. If your company has a positive culture and balance, the problem might be your relationship to work. The great news is you have a lot more control over this.
People-pleasing, workaholism, and burnout often go hand in hand. It's a cycle of overcommitment, stress, and exhaustion that can take a big toll on mental and physical health. Driven professionals, including lawyers and other high achievers, are particularly prone to this cycle. The pressures and expectations inherent in their fields create a perfect storm.
People-Pleasing In the Workplace
People-pleasing, characterized by a need to seek approval and avoid conflict, can lead people to take on more than they can handle. This means they sacrifice their own needs and boundaries in the process. This constant striving for validation can result in chronic stress and anxiety.
The Health Impact of Workaholism
Workaholism is the tendency to prioritize work over other aspects of life. It often leads to burnout and diminished overall satisfaction. For many, work becomes a primary source of identity and how we structure our lives. We often feel great about ourselves when work is going well. This becomes reinforcing of workaholic tendencies, almost in an addictive cycle. The relentless pursuit of success and achievement may initially yield accolades or promotions. But over time, it can erode relationships, health, and quality of life. Without ways of coping besides hiding in work, people don't know how to feel better.
Burnout From People Pleasing and Workaholism
Burnout is characterized by emotional exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced effectiveness. It's the inevitable outcome of prolonged overcommitment and neglect of self-care. Driven people may push themselves to the brink in pursuit of their goals, only to find themselves depleted. Recovery from burnout often takes a long time. If we're not careful, we recover only to throw ourselves back into the same cycle that got us there. The cycle must be fully broken to feel truly well.
Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing, Workaholism, and Burnout At Work
Breaking the cycle of people-pleasing, workaholism, and burnout requires a willingness to prioritize self-care and set boundaries. This may involve learning to say no to some requests, delegating tasks, and protecting time for rest and relaxation. It doesn't come naturally to a lot of people. It can feel very uncomfortable if you've never done it. It might even feel like defiance or selfishness. We often hear that people believe it's okay for others to practice self-care and set boundaries, but not themselves. But this is categorically false.
Therapy can be helpful in addressing underlying issues like low self-esteem, perfectionism, and fear of failure that often fuel this cycle. Therapy can help you build a healthier relationship with work and achieve greater balance and fulfillment in your life. And you can still be great at what you do. In fact, you'll be even better because you'll be rested, inspired, and well-resourced.
We recommend this book on boundaries to help you get oriented to setting boundaries with work.
Strategies To Decrease People Pleasing And Workaholism
Set boundaries to protect your well-being and maintain a healthy work-life balance
Seek out mentors or role models who exemplify the qualities and values you aspire to
Engage in personal development activities, such as mindfulness practices
Cultivate hobbies outside work
Prioritize relationships outside work
Take regular vacations
Start therapy to understand and change your motivations for people pleasing and workaholism
You Deserve A Great Work Life
Work is a big part of our lives, and you deserve a positive experience. Whether you need help getting out of a toxic work environment, or you want to address personal issues that are making work hard, we’re here for you.
Therapy For Lawyers and Other Professionals: Work Stress And Burnout Treament In California and Florida
If you're struggling to navigate these challenge, support is available. Whether you're grappling with a toxic work environment or with personality fit, therapy can help you build skills to thrive.
If you're in California or Florida and seeking support for work-related issues, we offer teletherapy services tailored to your needs. Schedule a free consultation and take the first step towards reclaiming your career satisfaction and mental well-being.
