How to Support a Trans Person During a Time of Political and Social Attack

Trans rights in the U.S. have become a topic of intense political and social debate, leading to an increase in hostility, discrimination, and violence against the trans community.

This can make it feel difficult, and even unsafe, for trans people to navigate the world around them. As a friend, family member, coworker, or partner, you have an important role to play in creating a space where your trans loved one feels safe, valued, and supported.

This is especially important as the larger world feels increasingly hostile. While we can't change the world overnight, we can make a significant difference on a personal level with how we show up in relationships.

Here’s how our LGBT therapists recommend you support a trans person in your life during these challenging times.

Daniella Mohazab, AMFT

Daniella works with LGBT folx of all genders in California. Daniella offers a steady and direct presence to guide you through identity development, interalized transphobia and homophobia, into self-acceptance and self love. She offers individual therapy, couples therapy, sex therapy, and EMDR therapy.

1. Be an Ally, Not a Savior

Being an ally means standing up for your trans loved one, but it doesn’t mean taking over or trying to “save” them. Recognize that their experiences are their own, and respect their autonomy. It’s important to listen and follow their lead, whether that’s in how they navigate their gender identity or in the ways they want support. Some may need space to process their emotions, while others might want to discuss their experiences openly.

Being an ally also means de-centering your own needs, role, and experience. Sometimes being too vocal in your allyship is seen as hollow and performative rather than productive.

2. Educate Yourself

Asking questions is a key part of showing you care, but it’s also important to take the time to educate yourself about trans issues. Research pronouns, gender identity, and the specific issues faced by the trans community, as well as current political climate and obstacles. Don't expect a trans friend or colleague to do this work for you. There are many resources available on topics such as gender dysphoria, transphobia, and navigating healthcare as a trans person.

When you make an effort to learn on your own, it signals to your trans loved one that you respect their identity and that you’re committed to being supportive.

3. Challenge Your Own Beliefs, Assumptions, and Stereotypes

Even the most progressive among us carries assumptions and stereotypes. It's part of living in a culture. You may have some beliefs or ideas that need updating. For example, have you considered that:

• Not all trans people want to be the opposite gender; some are nonbinary or agender

• Not all trans people decide to medically transition; some opt to socially transition and leave it at that

• Not all trans people decide to legally transition; some use a chosen name in daily life but keep their legal documents the same

• Not all trans people are out in every area of their life; some are out in some areas and not others

• Not all trans people hate their birth name; some trans people are okay using it, while others experience strong dysphoria when it is used against their wishes

• Not all trans people are dysphoric; some are euphoric to be living as their authentic selves

4. Use the Correct Name and Pronouns

Using the correct name and pronouns is one of the most respectful things you can do. Make it a priority to remember and use the name and pronouns your trans loved one has chosen. If you slip up, apologize swiftly, correct yourself, and move on. Don’t make it a big deal or put extra emotional pressure on them to comfort you. Be mindful that a trans person may experience dysphoria when their identity is invalidated. Misusing their name or pronouns can compound those feelings.

If you're ever unsure, don’t hesitate to ask them directly how they prefer to be supported. Your effort to get it right means more than you may realize.

5. Create a Culture Of Safety For Them

The world outside is filled with microaggressions and overt hostility toward trans people. In response, you can work to make your home, workspace, or relationship a sanctuary. Some ways to create a safe and comforting space include:

Never Ask Medical Questions. Unless you are a healthcare provider, don't ask medical questions. It's rarely okay to ask about someone's transition decisions. In many cases, it comes across as asking about their genitals, which is not appropriate in 99% of settings. Not all trans people decide to medically or legally transition, and that's okay. If they want you to know something, they will tell you. There is a lot more to being trans than medical and legal transition.

Affirmation. Verbally affirm your loved one’s identity. For instance, you can say, “I see you and I’m proud of you” or “I support your gender expression.” You may think it's obvious, but you do need to say it out loud sometimes.

Ask How You Can Be Most Supportive. You may have ideas about how you can show up for them, but it's usually best to get their buy-in. For example, if you want to start an workplace affinity group or connect them with someone else you know, ask if they're interested first.

Avoid Judgment. Let them know that your love and care are steadfast, and you’re there for them regardless of what others may say or do.

Privacy and Respect. Honor their right to privacy. Don’t disclose their gender identity or transition status without their consent.

6. Be Mindful of Microaggressions

Transphobia doesn’t always come in the form of overt hate speech; sometimes it’s more subtle. Microaggressions, such as misgendering, making assumptions about someone’s transition, or asking intrusive questions, can be painful and exhausting for a trans person. You can show support by being proactive in addressing and stopping microaggressions when they occur.

For example:

• If you hear someone else misgendering your trans loved one, correct them politely. This is especially powerful if the trans person isn't present because it shows the person who used incorrect language that your allyship is consistent.

• Avoid binary language. Saying "Welcome, esteemed guests," is more inclusive than, "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen."

• Avoid asking invasive questions about their transition or body.

7. Be Supportive in the Workplace

If you're a coworker or supervisor, creating an inclusive and supportive work environment is essential. Advocate for inclusive workplace policies that protect trans employees from discrimination and harassment. Some ways to show your support include:

Respecting pronouns and names in meetings and written communications.

Encouraging a culture of respect and inclusivity.

Speaking out against transphobia in the workplace, whether in conversations or during meetings.

You can also offer to accompany your trans loved one to important meetings or speak up on their behalf if they’re facing discrimination. However, always check in with them first to ensure they’re comfortable with how you're helping.

8. Be Present as a Partner

If your trans loved one is your romantic partner, supporting them during these times means being emotionally available and understanding. Here are a few ways to show that:

Offer Emotional Support. Acknowledge the emotional weight of what they are experiencing, and create space for them to share their feelings without judgment or invalidation.

Celebrate Their Wins. Whether big or small, celebrate their milestones and the ways they express their gender identity. Positive reinforcement can help counteract the negative messages they may be receiving from society.

Set Boundaries Around Toxic Conversations. If you’re in social settings where transphobia is present, make sure to stand up for your partner and protect them from harm in a way that feels good and safe for them. Set boundaries with others who may not respect your loved one’s identity.

9. Help Them Build a Support System

It’s important for your trans loved one to have a supportive network of people who understand them. Encourage them to seek out trans support systems, both online and in person, where they can find solidarity and emotional support. These groups can be formal or social. Being part of a community where others share similar experiences is extremely helpful in improving trans mental health.

10. Challenge Transphobia and Promote Advocacy

Finally, in your interactions with the broader world, challenge transphobia and discriminatory beliefs. Stand up for trans rights when you can, and consider getting involved in advocacy or supporting organizations that fight for trans equality.

Whether it’s contacting your legislators, being inclusive in your daily language, or donating to trans-led organizations, big and small action can help mitigate the hostile political climate,.

11. Respect Their Pace

Every trans person is on their own journey, and allyship means respecting their pace. Not every trans person will feel ready or safe to come out or take part in certain activities. Be patient and let your loved one guide you on what they need, when they need it. Some days may be harder than others, and that's okay. You don’t have to have all the answers; just being present is often the most important thing you can do.

Remember Sometimes Allyship is Quiet, and Sometimes It's Vocal

It's a nice gesture to hang a "safe space" sign in your office or go with a friend to a trans-centric event. But if you don't follow through with verbal support, your loved one won't feel safe. This means kindly correcting pronouns when another person misgenders them, even if they are not in the room. It means calling people in to be more inclusive. It means challenging your own be

Building a Culture of Safety For Our Trans Loved Ones

While political and social attacks on trans rights are distressing, we have the power to create spaces of safety and acceptance in our communities. By being an informed ally in whatever role you occupy, you can help your trans loved one feel seen, heard, and valued.

Together, we can make a difference, one relationship at a time.

LGBT Therapy In California & Florida

Supporting a trans person emotionally and relationally can also benefit from professional guidance that honors both safety and identity. Our practice offers individual therapy, trauma therapy, and EMDR therapy to help people process stress, minority stress responses, and relational patterns in ways that feel affirming rather than pathologizing. We also provide burnout therapy and holistic therapy for clients navigating chronic stress or overextension, as well as LGBT couples therapy when family or partner dynamics are part of the challenge. Our therapists work with adults, young adults, and teenagers through secure online sessions across California and Florida, with identity-affirming care at the center of all our work.

Book a free consultation today with Laurel Therapy Collective, serving clients across California and Florida.