Why You Can't Find Words to Talk About Your Trauma
Trauma is a heavy burden to bear. Sometimes, it can feel impossible to find the words to talk about it. Whether you're seeking therapy or trying to open up to a friend, verbalizing your trauma can be a challenge. There's science behind this difficulty, and strategies to help you unburden yourself by sharing with a trusted person.
The Brain and the Burden of Trauma
Trauma doesn't just affect your emotions; it can reshape your brain. When you experience trauma, your brain's language and memory centers get tangled up in the chaos. This can lead to a phenomenon known as "speechless terror." In essence, the very parts of your brain you need to describe the trauma are impacted by the trauma itself.
Trauma doesn't only affect us during the traumatic event itself. Its echos can extend long after the trauma has passed, casting shadows that disrupt our ability to express ourselves. This silence is a complex interplay of factors. Let's explore some of those factors and outline strategies for overcoming silence.
Post-Traumatic Silence: The Complex Legacy of Trauma
Difficulty describing or talking about trauma is a very common experience. So common, in fact, that brain studies have been done to explain why.
The Impact Of Trauma on the Language Centers of the Brain
Trauma affects the parts of the brain responsible for language and memory. When experiencing intense fear, the brain's limbic system, where emotions are processed, can hijack the prefrontal cortex, responsible for language and logical thinking. This interference can lead to a phenomenon known as "speechless terror." In essence, the parts of the brain you need to describe the trauma are influenced by the trauma itself.
Re-Experiencing Trauma
Re-experiencing is a common symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It's as if the trauma returns with vivid and distressing memories, nightmares, or flashbacks. These intrusions can make it difficult to find the words to talk about your experiences. They conjure up overwhelming emotions and a sense of being back in the traumatic moment, making it challenging to create a narrative.
The Lingering Impact of PTSD
PTSD is often accompanied by emotional numbing and detachment. The emotional blunting it causes can make it harder to put your feelings into words. You may feel detached from your emotions, making it seem as if the words are locked behind a door that you can't open.
Trauma Therapies to Overcome the Silence
Understanding why you struggle to find words after trauma is the first step in reclaiming your voice. Here are some strategies that can help:
Trauma Therapy
Trauma-focused therapy can help you process and reframe traumatic memories. Reprocessed memories are much easier to talk about because they don't activate you like they used to. Imagine being about to think about what happened and not feel it in your body. With trauma therapy, it's totally possible. That said, trauma therapy can be difficult and uncomfortable. You should only start trauma therapy when you're ready to face what happened and come out the other side stronger.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR is a powerful therapy, particularly for those struggling to articulate their trauma. It involves guided eye or hand movements to help reprocess traumatic memories and emotions. You don't need to share as much detail with your therapist as some other trauma therapies. This helps move through the memory out to the other side where you truly feel safe again. Once you feel safe, it's much easier to talk about.
Trauma Support Groups
Sharing your struggles with other people in a safe space can help you begin your healing journey. Many people are initially uncertain about attending support groups. But support groups have high success rates for trauma survivors, because we realize we're not alone. When we know we're not alone, we are stronger and braver.
Somatic Therapies
Trauma lives in the body as much as in the mind. Somatic therapies like Somatic Experiencing (SE) and trauma-informed yoga can be very beneficial. They focus on reconnecting with the body, helping you access and process trauma on a physiological level. These therapies are particularly helpful for people who had a physical or sexual trauma. They help empower you to feel in control of your body after a trauma that made you feel you had no control.
The Trauma Healing Journey at Home
Beyond therapy, there are many things you can do in your daily life to ease the process of talking about your trauma.
Journaling To Heal Trauma
Writing about your experiences, feelings, and reactions can serve as a bridge between your internal world and others. If you've thought through your experience and chosen words to write it down, those words might be easier to say out loud some day. Or maybe you never share it with others. So long as the healing happens, whatever comes next is up to you.
Creative Expression
Art, music, and writing can serve as powerful outlets. They enable you to channel your emotions into a tangible form. This offers an alternative means of processing your trauma when words fail you. Though there haven't been large-scale studies of arts therapy, many people have seen profound healing.
Mindfulness Practices For Trauma
Mindfulness can aid in grounding you in the present moment. When you are grounded in the present moment, you aren't thinking about the past, and therefore not activating the memory of trauma. This eases emotional overwhelm, and facilitating clearer self-expression. It's important to note the difference between avoiding the trauma and mindfulness.
Self-Compassion After Trauma
Self-compassion after trauma can be difficult. In an effort to make sense of why something happened, we often blame ourselves or feel we somehow deserved it. But it's crucial to treat yourself with kindness and patience. You didn't deserve what happened to you. Struggling to find words doesn't diminish the significance of your experiences. Healing is a journey, and you're making progress by exploring your feelings, even when it's challenging.
Stories of Struggle and Triumph
Alex
Alex had experienced a traumatic event in childhood. Whenever he tried to speak about it, he found himself unable to form sentences. In therapy, he discovered that the part of his brain associated with language had been impacted by the trauma. Through EMDR sessions and somatic therapy, Alex gradually found the words to talk about his experiences.
Lara
Lara had endured years of emotional abuse in a previous relationship. She felt frozen when trying to explain her experiences in therapy. With the guidance of her therapist, she began integrating progressive muscle relaxation and yoga into her daily routine. Over time, she found herself more capable of putting her feelings into words.
Sam
Sam struggled to communicate his wartime experiences with his spouse. He was afraid that sharing his trauma would damage their relationship. In support group with other vets, he listened to others and found a way to discuss his experiences safely. Sam also incorporated mindfulness exercises to help manage his emotional responses. These strategies allowed him to open up and rebuild trust with his partner.
The Role of Trauma Therapy & Online EMDR
Therapy offers a structured, expert, and safe space to confront the challenges of speechless terror. Therapists understand the complexities of trauma and can guide you through the process of finding words to talk about it. They can employ techniques like EMDR therapy, somatic therapy, or cognitive-behavioral therapy to help you regain your voice. These treatments all work well online.
Be patient with yourself and remind yourself that healing takes time. You're not alone in your struggle to find the words. Trauma can silence even the most articulate of us. With the right support and techniques, you can find your words.
Trauma Therapy and Online EMDR In California & Florida
If you’re ready to try EMDR therapy with a trained and trusted EMDR therapist, reach out to schedule a consultation today. We can help you process what happened even if you can’t quite find the words.
