What We Want Everyone To Know About EMDR Therapy

It's easy for us to be enthusiastic about EMDR therapy. As a staff, we have over 10 years of experience using it, and we see radical transformations every day. But what might seem second-nature to us often isn't to our clients. Here's what you should know about EMDR therapy if you're considering it.

1. EMDR therapy looks and feels super weird.

The thing that makes EMDR famous (and effective) is the bilateral stimulation, often using eye movements or tapping. But it's that same bilateral stimulation that looks and feels super weird while you're doing it. You may even think it seems insane that this could help you process trauma. We're with you there; it IS super weird. And yet the science, as well as our experience, say it really does work. There are some incredible neural processes happening under the surface that you can't feel. So try to put aside your judgments and approach it with an open mind. A little doubt is healthy as long as you're open.

2. You shouldn't jump into processing trauma in your first EMDR therapy session.

Look, we know you're eager to feel better. And we really wish there was a magic wand to wave (pun intended, since EMDR sometimes involves using a wand for bilateral stimulation) to give you some mental relief. But EMDR won't work if you rush it. In fact, it could go really badly if you do that.

Diving into reliving a traumatic event with no coping skills or resourcing won't heal it. That's just re-traumatizing, which is the opposite of what we're going for. Retraumatizing usually leads to shutting down and derails the whole EMDR process. Some people even stop therapy. For effective EMDR therapy you will need to access the whole memory, but only in the safety of a well-resourced and grounded therapy session.

In our experience, people see better results if they fully engage with resourcing and preparation before talking about any specific traumas. Sadly, most EMDR therapists skimp on resourcing. This is the number one reason EMDR therapy doesn't work. If you're not seeing good results in EMDR therapy, get curious if you were properly resourced and prepared.

Read more about what resourcing and preparation looks like here.

(As an aside, most EMDR training programs rush through the training modules on resourcing, which is probably why many EMDR therapists skip it.)

3. EMDR therapy is probably going to take a little longer than you'd like.

EMDR therapy gained a reputation for being a quick fix. And while it's definitely quicker than other forms of therapy, you'll likely need 8-10 sessions for a single-incident, simple trauma. For more complex, interconnected traumas, it takes longer. And unfortunately, most trauma is interconnected. That's because our brains are constantly making connections to protect us. When that happens with trauma, it creates a strong neural network that takes some time to rewire.

4... Or it might work really quickly.

We like to make sure we adjust expectations, but we've also seen people process really quickly and feel immediate relief. Every brain is different. Quick processing is most likely to happen for single incident traumas, like a car accident or single sexual trauma. Sometimes complex traumas process quickly depending on how someone's brain works. But if you don't process quickly, you're totally normal.

We've also seen teens process quickly. You can read more about EMDR for teens here.

5. The relationship with your EMDR therapist matters... a lot.

EMDR is a potent modality that works because of its power to help you form new neural networks. But that doesn't mean you can work with any EMDR therapist. We know that all therapy, including EMDR, is most effective when you have a really good relationship with your therapist. So if you're not vibing with someone, don't stick with them just because they're trained in EMDR therapy. Find someone you really trust and feel good about working with.

6. You might feel tired or confused after an EMDR therapy processing session.

Your brain is making new connections at a rapid pace, so it makes sense if you're tired, confused, have a headache, or have strange dreams. It also makes sense if you feel totally fine! If you feel significantly worse, tell your therapist as soon as you can. Otherwise, make a plan to rest and let your brain continue the rewiring magic.

See: What Should I Do After An EMDR Therapy Session?

7. The brain is incredibly plastic and you truly can heal.

Neuroplasticity is your best friend when it comes to healing. Not only can you feel better, you can truly heal from your trauma. Not just cope with it; heal from it. New neural networks are being built and rewired in your brain every day. EMDR therapy allows you to harness the power of neuroplasticity and use it to relieve your suffering.

We've seen incredible transformations. People who never thought they'd feel normal again, fly again, drive again, or trust again have done what they felt was impossible after EMDR therapy. You deserve to heal no matter what you went through.

EMDR Therapy in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Online Throughout California & Beyond

Our EMDR therapists are here to help you rewire and thrive after trauma. We serve California and several other states; check our individual therapist pages for current state offerings. You can truly recover and feel like yourself again; we're here to help. Book a free consultation today.