What to Do If You Had a Bad Experience with EMDR Therapy
If you’ve landed on this page, it probably means you’re feeling confused, hurt, or discouraged after trying EMDR therapy. We want to say right up front: we’re so sorry that happened. When therapy is supposed to offer healing and instead leaves you feeling worse, it feels especially jarring.
Let’s be clear: if your experience with EMDR therapy didn’t feel helpful—or even felt harmful—it’s not because you “weren’t doing it right.” Most of the time, challenging or negative EMDR experiences are the result of the therapist’s approach, not the client’s ability to handle the work.
If you feel much worse after an EMDR therapy session and are considering ending your life, please call 988 (US only) or go to the nearest hospital.
Otherwise, let’s walk through why difficult EMDR experiences can occur, and what steps you can take to move forward with care.
Daniella Mohazab, AMFT
Daniella works with partners at all stages of their relationship in California. Daniella offers a steady and compassionate presence to guide you through conflict and toward connection. Her work helps couples not just repair patterns but also deepen intimacy and resilience.
Alexis Harney, LMFT
Alexis helps partners reconnect through Gottman Method Couples Therapy, an approach grounded in decades of research on what makes relationships thrive. She offers couples therapy supporting partners who want to strengthen communication and rebuild trust. Alexis also works with couples seeking couples therapy in California and Florida, providing a safe and supportive space for meaningful change.
Understanding Your Experience
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a powerful trauma therapy method, but it’s not one-size-fits-all.
It’s also not something every therapist uses skillfully.
When done well, EMDR can help people reprocess overwhelming memories in a way that reduces emotional distress. But if it’s rushed or done without proper preparation, it can leave you feeling disoriented, exposed, or emotionally flooded.
Here are some common reasons people report feeling worse after EMDR sessions:
The EMDR therapist moved into trauma processing too quickly without building emotional regulation skills first
There wasn’t enough preparation or explanation about what to expect
You dissociated or became overwhelmed during the session and your therapist didn't recognize it
The therapeutic relationship didn’t feel safe or grounded
The EMDR therapist didn’t help with integration or debriefing after difficult sessions
If any of this sounds familiar, it makes total sense that you’re feeling unsettled.
Your nervous system may still be in a state of alarm. That deserves care, not judgment.
What If You Had Neutral or Confusing EMDR Therapy Session?
Sometimes people have an EMDR session that didn't feel magically healing, but wasn't necessarily bad. That's very normal.
Sometimes it can take time to see if EMDR therapy actually worked. Sometimes it can take time to truly identify the right target and process it to completion. Communicate with your EMDR therapist and give it some more time. EMDR has earned a reputation for being a quick fix, when in reality it takes time.
Steps to Take After a Bad EMDR Therapy Experience
1. Give Yourself Time to Process
Before jumping into decisions, give yourself some space to feel what you're feeling. Frustration, disappointment, anxiety, grief—these are all valid reactions.
You might try:
Journaling to clarify what felt off about the experience
Talking with a trusted friend or trauma-informed provider who won’t minimize your reaction
Giving your body extra rest and gentleness in the days following a difficult session
The goal here is not to fix it overnight, but to create space for self-awareness without pressure.
2. Talk to Your EMDR Therapist If You Feel Safe Doing So
If you’re still working with the same EMDR therapist, consider sharing your concerns.
A thoughtful therapist should welcome feedback and make adjustments based on your needs. If they become defensive, dismissive, or shift blame onto you, that’s a red flag.
It may be time to explore other options.
Here are a few ways you might start the conversation:
“I’ve been thinking about our last session, and I left feeling really overwhelmed. I’m not sure EMDR therapy is right for me right now. Can we talk about it?”
“Can we go over what happened last time? I don’t think I was ready to go that deep.”
“I’m needing a slower pace and more support between EMDR therapy sessions. Can we talk about how to structure that?”
If speaking up doesn’t feel safe, you are not obligated to continue with that EMDR therapist.
3. Explore Other EMDR Therapy Options
EMDR isn’t the only path to healing trauma. Some people benefit from a combination of approaches, or from switching to a different method altogether.
Here are a few alternatives you might explore:
Parts work or Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Helpful for working gently with different emotional states
Sensorimotor or somatic therapies – Support regulation through body-based awareness
Narrative therapy – Focuses on meaning-making through storytelling
Attachment-based therapy – Builds emotional safety in the therapeutic relationship before diving into trauma content
4. Give Yourself Permission to Walk Away (Or Return Later)
You can always return to EMDR therapy later if it feels like the right fit. It’s okay if it’s not what you need right now.
Sometimes the most healing decision is to pause EMDR therapy and focus on stabilization.
Other times, people return to EMDR with a different EMDR therapist and have a much better experience.
When thinking about whether to continue EMDR, consider:
Do you feel emotionally resourced enough to return to it right now?
Do you feel safe and supported by your EMDR therapist?
Have you been taught any grounding or coping tools to use between sessions?
Only you get to decide if, when, and how you return to trauma therapy. Healing is not linear, and there’s no single “correct” path.
Self-Care After a Difficult EMDR Therapy Session
Even if you don’t return to EMDR, tending to your nervous system after a challenging session is important.
Try:
Taking walks or spending time outside to help reorient your body
Listening to calming music or practicing breathing exercises
Using Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Connecting with people who help you feel grounded and supported
Distracting yourself with comforting TV, books, or creative activities
The body holds onto trauma, but it also responds to care, consistency, and small moments of regulation. Those matter more than you might think.
Again, if you feel much worse after an EMDR therapy session and are considering ending your life, please call 988 (US only) or go to the nearest hospital.
Reach Out for Support
Many people have had rocky experiences with EMDR therapy and gone on to find therapists, communities, or practices that better meet their needs.
Consider:
Seeking out a trauma-informed provider who can help you unpack the experience
Looking into directories like TherapyDen, Inclusive Therapists, or Psychology Today to find someone with EMDR expertise and strong preparation and pacing practices
If you’re in California or Florida, our team specializes in EMDR therapy that emphasizes consent, pacing, preparation, and emotional safety. We love to work with clients who’ve had negative experiences elsewhere and want to try again.
EMDR Is Challenging, But You Should Feel In Control of The Pace
A difficult EMDR therapy session doesn’t mean you failed. And it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t heal.
What it means is that you deserve better support, whether that’s with your current therapist or someone new. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and in control of your healing process.
Take your time. Listen to yourself. And don’t be afraid to ask for the kind of care you need.
Looking for an EMDR therapist who can support you at your pace?
We specialize in trauma therapy for clients who’ve had complicated or painful therapy experiences in the past. Schedule a free consultation to see if working together feels like a better fit.
