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What To Do If Your Partner Acts Differently Toward You Around Family or Work Colleagues

What To Do If Your Partner Acts Differently Toward You Around Family or Work Colleagues

Noticing your partner behaving differently around family or colleagues can feel confusing or even hurtful. They might seem more distant, overly agreeable, or act in a way that feels out of character compared to how they are in private. While this shift can be unsettling, it doesn’t always mean something is wrong in your relationship. Understanding the underlying reasons and addressing them with care is key.

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When and How to Take a Break During a Heated Discussion
Communication, Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn Communication, Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn

When and How to Take a Break During a Heated Discussion

We’ve all been in a heated discussion that spirals out of control, leaving both parties feeling frustrated and misunderstood. Knowing when to take a break can be the key to maintaining healthy communication. Sometimes, taking a break allows for a more productive conversation later. But how do we know when to take a break? And how do we regulate ourselves so we can come back with a cool, clear head?

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How Couples Can Be Less Codependent And Move Toward Interdependence

How Couples Can Be Less Codependent And Move Toward Interdependence

While closeness in a relationships feels good, losing your independent sense of self isn't good for anyone. Transitioning from codependence to interdependence—a state where partners support each other while maintaining their own identities—requires effort. Here's how to do it.

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What is Codependency? A Couples Therapist Explains
Couples and Relationships, Attachment, Codependence Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships, Attachment, Codependence Laurel van der Toorn

What is Codependency? A Couples Therapist Explains

The term "codependency" is used to describe relationships where one person seems to lose themselves in the needs of another. Originally rooted in the context of addiction and substance use, the term has broadened to include a range of unhealthy relational dynamics. Let’s explore what codependency is and how it manifests in relationships.

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Feeling Smothered in a Relationship? How to Handle a Suffocating Partner
Couples and Relationships, Attachment, Communication Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships, Attachment, Communication Laurel van der Toorn

Feeling Smothered in a Relationship? How to Handle a Suffocating Partner

If you feel like your partner is smothering you, it's important to address the issue in a way that respects both your needs and theirs. Understanding why this might be happening through the lens of attachment can be a helpful first step in finding relief for both of you.

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What’s the Difference? Relationship Dealbreakers, Incompatibilities & Perpetual Problems
Couples and Relationships, Dating, Boundaries Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships, Dating, Boundaries Laurel van der Toorn

What’s the Difference? Relationship Dealbreakers, Incompatibilities & Perpetual Problems

Relationships are beautifully complex. They can be challenging, with issues that test the strength of your bond. Understanding the differences between dealbreakers, incompatibilities, perpetual problems, and differences in core values can help you navigate your relationship better and determine when couples therapy might be needed.

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Deep, Meaningful Relationships Are The True Markers of Health and Success
Couples and Relationships, Holistic Therapy, Attachment Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships, Holistic Therapy, Attachment Laurel van der Toorn

Deep, Meaningful Relationships Are The True Markers of Health and Success

We often measure success by our job titles, salaries, and material possessions. It's become too easy to prioritize external achievements and milestones. Yet, research consistently shows that the true cornerstone of happiness lies in the quality of our relationships. Whether it's with family, friends, or partners, these connections have a profound impact on our life satisfaction. Here's why, and how millennials can create more depth in our relationships.

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Healthy Relationships: How To Repair After a Rupture
Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn

Healthy Relationships: How To Repair After a Rupture

If you've never learned the art of healthy repair, you're not alone. Many people don't have positive models for how to repair after a rupture. Rest assured, it's a skill that can be cultivated over time. Here's how to start repairing relationships after a rupture, whether it's with a partner, friend, colleague, or family member.

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Internalized Homophobia in Lesbian Couples: Overcoming Through LGBT Couples Therapy
LGBT Mental Health, LGBTQ, Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn LGBT Mental Health, LGBTQ, Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn

Internalized Homophobia in Lesbian Couples: Overcoming Through LGBT Couples Therapy

Life is a shared journey when you're part of a couple. Like any journey, it has its share of challenges. One significant challenge that can impact a lesbian relationship's health is internalized homophobia. Its effects can be simple but profound: feelings of shame, guilt, or self-rejection that stem from prejudices against non-straight people.

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Proven Kinds Of Therapy: What They Are And When They’re Helpful

Proven Kinds Of Therapy: What They Are And When They’re Helpful

Evidence-based practices are essential foundations in therapy. They're supported by research and clinical experience. Not all therapists use them, and some of these methods may not work for everyone. Here's a brief explanation of different types of therapy and alternatives to consider if these practices don't work for you.

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We offer individualized teletherapy for a wide range of mental health and relational issues. Our San Francisco & Los Angeles therapists can help with anxiety, trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, LGBT gay and lesbian therapy issues, holistic therapy, enneagram therapy, therapy for lawyers, couples therapy, therapy for burnout, and therapy for teenagers. We serve many people in San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and Los Angeles, as well as throughout California and Florida. Our team is anti-racist, body positive, LGBT and trans affirming and sex positive. You deserve to feel good!