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Therapy Talk Laurel van der Toorn Therapy Talk Laurel van der Toorn

What To Do If Your Therapist Talks About Themselves A Lot

Having a therapist that talks about themselves a lot can be confusing. For some it's uncomfortable, for others helpful. Therapy should be your time and space to explore what's going on with you. Here's information to help you figure out what amount of sharing is helpful to you, and when it's cause for concern.

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Trauma, Couples and Relationships, Sexual Trauma Laurel van der Toorn Trauma, Couples and Relationships, Sexual Trauma Laurel van der Toorn

Sex After Sexual Trauma: How To Be A Good Lover To A Survivor

When and how to approach sex with someone who has been assaulted can be tricky business. Every experience is different, and no amount of research or good intention can replace healthy communication with your partner. Here's what you should know about how to be a great partner, spouse, lover, or friend-with-benefits to someone who has been sexually assaulted or raped.

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Los Angeles Laurel van der Toorn Los Angeles Laurel van der Toorn

The Real Reason Los Angeles Traffic Is So Frustrating

There's a shared sentiment about traffic among Angelenos and tourists alike. It grinds gears and triggers eye rolls. We all know it's bad. But why does sitting in LA traffic make even the most patient of us so irritable? Let's cut the fluff and dive into the real reason traffic is the worst.

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Healthy Coping Laurel van der Toorn Healthy Coping Laurel van der Toorn

Changing Your Victim Mindset: Examples & Where It Comes From

Picture this: you wake up one morning, and everything is going wrong. Your coffee machine breaks, you're running late for work, and you hit every red light on your way. It's easy to fall into thinking, "Why does this always happen to me?" It's a natural response. But for those with a victim mentality, this mindset extends beyond a bad morning. It becomes a way of life.

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Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn

What We Can Learn From Michelle Obama’s Experience In Couples Therapy

Couples often come to therapy at a point of crisis or significant life changes. The hope is for a sudden, dramatic turnaround in the relationship. And it's totally possible to change. We've seen it happen. But a roadblock arises when someone expects their partner to be the sole catalyst for change. Even Michelle Obama experienced this. Let's explore why this can be problematic and why a different approach is key in couples therapy.

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Healthy Coping, Activism, Social Justice Laurel van der Toorn Healthy Coping, Activism, Social Justice Laurel van der Toorn

Social Justice: Sustainable Activism and Preventing Vicarious Trauma

In a world where hashtags fuel movements and social platforms serve as soapboxes, activism has evolved. From the radical to the domestic, engaging in causes we are passionate about is empowering. But it can come with a hidden cost: vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue. Let's explore impactful ways to make a difference while safeguarding your mental health.

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Lawyers, Burnout Laurel van der Toorn Lawyers, Burnout Laurel van der Toorn

Reversing The Course For Burnt Out Lawyers

Our careers are supposed to be a marathon, not a sprint. But unfortunately, most law firms have a culture of a marathon run at a sprint pace. This is not sustainable and usually leads to burnout. It can be too difficult to prioritize self-care when something always seems to be on fire. It makes sense that many lawyers are burnt out.

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Anxiety Laurel van der Toorn Anxiety Laurel van der Toorn

15 Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Anxiety

Dealing with anxiety can be tough, not only for the person going through it but also for those around them. Sometimes, even with the best intentions, we might say things that unintentionally make anxiety worse. Here are ten things you should avoid saying to someone with anxiety and what to say instead.

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Couples and Relationships, Anxiety Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships, Anxiety Laurel van der Toorn

How to Support a Partner With Anxiety: 13 Practical Ways to Help

It's hard when your partner is going through something you can't fix. Anxiety can be a challenging experience, not just for the person going through it but also for their partner. If your loved one is dealing with anxiety, it's hard to know where to start. Here are 13 practical strategies for being there for your partner.

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Book Review, Holistic Therapy Laurel van der Toorn Book Review, Holistic Therapy Laurel van der Toorn

Therapeutic Book Review: How Healing Works by Wayne Jonas, MD

How Healing Works How Healing Works is a research-backed book about what many people already know: medicine alone will not heal us. The content is disruptive while also being hopeful and empowering. To be clear, Jonas is exploring how people can pursue healing in addition to working with Western medicine. The author's focus on integrative care wins readers over without slandering allopathic medicine.

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Healthy Coping, Healthy Tech Use Laurel van der Toorn Healthy Coping, Healthy Tech Use Laurel van der Toorn

7 Boundaries You Can Set With Your Phone to Lower Anxiety

Most of us have complicated relationships with our phones. We can't live without them, nor would we want to. Overall, they're a net positive. But they also control a lot of our time and attention and raise our anxiety. Poor boundaries with our phones leads to stress, anxiety, and strained relationships. If you find yourself constantly glued to your phone, experiencing FOMO, or disconnected from the people around you, this article is for you. We’ll offer six strategies to help you build better boundaries with your phone.

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Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn

Couples Therapy Isn't Always About Staying Together

Couples therapy is often seen as a last-ditch effort to salvage a relationship. But the goal of couples therapy isn't always keeping couples together. A good therapist is committed to ensuring that both parties find the path that's best for them. In some cases, therapy might lead to a couple making the difficult decision to part ways. And that's okay! Let's explore how therapy can help couples separate with integrity.

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EMDR, Trauma, Communication Laurel van der Toorn EMDR, Trauma, Communication Laurel van der Toorn

Why You Can't Find Words to Talk About Your Trauma

Trauma is a heavy burden to bear. Sometimes, it can feel impossible to find the words to talk about it. Whether you're seeking therapy or trying to open up to a friend, verbalizing your trauma can be a challenge. There's science behind this difficulty, and strategies to help you unburden yourself by sharing with a trusted person.

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Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn Couples and Relationships Laurel van der Toorn

Rethinking Outdated Marriage Advice: Beyond "Happy Wife, Happy Life"

When it comes to relationship advice, one old adage that keeps echoing is "Happy wife, happy life." It's a well-meant sentiment, but it's time to rethink this age-old saying. The notion of permanent happiness and self-sacrifice can be problematic. This is true in any relationship, regardless of gender. It's time move from this simplistic adage into a more empowered approach to marital happiness.

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Our Holistic Therapy Services In California & Florida

We offer individualized teletherapy for a wide range of mental health and relational issues. Our San Francisco & Los Angeles therapists can help with anxiety, trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, LGBT gay and lesbian therapy issues, holistic therapy, enneagram therapy, therapy for lawyers, couples therapy, therapy for burnout, and therapy for teenagers. We serve many people in San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and Los Angeles, as well as throughout California and Florida. Our team is anti-racist, body positive, LGBT and trans affirming and sex positive. You deserve to feel good!