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How to Pace Yourself in Dating: Building Healthy Connections with Attachment Style Awareness
So you both swiped right and you've got those furious butterflies in your stomach. You can't believe you finally met someone you really click with! But how do you proceed without getting way ahead of yourself and getting hurt? How can you prevent codependence? How do you lean into the excitement without scaring them off?
When is it Okay to Trauma Dump? A Trauma Therapist Explains…
Let's explore the dangers of trauma dumping in certain situations and how to handle these awkward conversations. We'll also talk about how sharing is different in trauma therapy and how to approach telling your story.
What Does Healthy Conflict Look Like in Relationships?
Healthy conflict is important for a satisfying relationship, while avoidance can lead to distance, resentment, and dissatisfaction. Understanding how to make conflict productive helps build a strong and satisfying partnership.
How Couples Can Be Less Codependent And Move Toward Interdependence
While closeness in a relationships feels good, losing your independent sense of self isn't good for anyone. Transitioning from codependence to interdependence—a state where partners support each other while maintaining their own identities—requires effort. Here's how to do it.
Difficulty Regulating Emotions? It Might Be Your Attachment Style
Our attachment style is developed early in life through our interactions with primary caregivers. This programming translates directly into how seamlessly we can respond to stress and unexpected events. Understanding this link can help explain why some struggle with emotions and responses.
Feeling Smothered in a Relationship? How to Handle a Suffocating Partner
If you feel like your partner is smothering you, it's important to address the issue in a way that respects both your needs and theirs. Understanding why this might be happening through the lens of attachment can be a helpful first step in finding relief for both of you.
Boundaries Are Over; Here’s What’s Next
When therapy terms like "boundaries" become widespread, they often get diluted and distorted. People invoke boundaries when making selfish or unkind decisions, using the term as a barrier instead of a helpful relationship tool. After years of helping people with trauma and relationship problems, we've seen the downsides of this distortion. It's sometimes used to gaslight and avoid responsibility. But we're not advising to abandon the concept of boundaries altogether. Here's the future of how we talk about boundaries.
What Not To Say To Someone Who Has Sexual Trauma
There are many things you shouldn't say to someone who has been the victim of a sexual crime. After experiencing the ultimate loss of power and autonomy, too many people are accused of lying or exaggerating. Here are things you should never say to a survivor of sexual assault and what to say instead.
Dealing With Difficult People: The Gray Rock Technique
Dealing with difficult people is exhausting. You find yourself dreading interactions, uncertain how to avoid the drama. That's where the Gray Rock Technique comes in. It's a powerful tool to maintain your peace of mind when dealing with challenging people.
14 Things to Say (or Not Say) When Someone Experiences Loss
It can be challenging to know what to say to someone who has experienced loss. It’s tempting to want to fix their pain. Here are 14 therapist-approved things to say to help someone you care about deal with loss.
Why You Can't Find Words to Talk About Your Trauma
Trauma is a heavy burden to bear. Sometimes, it can feel impossible to find the words to talk about it. Whether you're seeking therapy or trying to open up to a friend, verbalizing your trauma can be a challenge. There's science behind this difficulty, and strategies to help you unburden yourself by sharing with a trusted person.
8 Words Therapists Want You to Stop Using Wrong: What to Say Instead
Words are powerful tools for understanding and communicating. When used incorrectly, they can perpetuate misconceptions, stigmas, and confusion. Here are eight words that therapists wish you'd stop using incorrectly and alternative phrases that promote a more accurate and compassionate dialogue.
Holiday Gatherings: Three Steps to Thrive With Complicated Family Dynamics
The holiday season brings the promise of joy and togetherness. But for many of us, the prospect of spending extended time with family can be a source of stress and anxiety. If you find yourself in a situation where the holidays with family are more challenging than cheery, fear not. We've got three practical steps to not only survive but thrive during this festive season.
The Truth About Lies in Relationships: Why We Lie and How to Handle It
We've all had those moments when a little white lie slips out. Whether it's about traffic, busyness, or how good that homemade lasagna is. Lying is part of human communication, and not all lies are bad. In fact, many are told with the best intentions, aimed at preserving relationships and sparing feelings. But when the truth eventually surfaces, trust can waver.
Dealing With Challenging In-Laws: How Couples Should Handle Complex Dynamics
They say that why you marry someone, you marry their family. While some in-laws become beloved members of your extended family, others present challenges. It takes skill to navigate these complexities while preserving the unity of your chosen family. Let's explore various types of challenging in-laws and how to communicate with your spouse.
What To Do When One of the “4 Horsemen” Appears In Your Relationship
Few things feel as stressful as conflict and tension in our closest relationships. It can feel especially threatening when you encounter one of the infamous "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." These four toxic behaviors can unleash chaos in your relationship if left unchecked. But don't worry! We've got actionable strategies to combat them and repair your connection.
How To Plan Your Wedding Without Losing Your Mind: Tips From A Therapist
Amidst all the joy and anticipation, wedding planning can unexpectedly become a source of stress. So, why is it that something meant to celebrate your love can end up feeling so overwhelming?
5 Daily Habits For Lasting Love From Couples Therapists
Every couple encounters challenges on their journey together. The key to a thriving relationship often lies in the daily habits you cultivate. As couples therapists serving major cities like San Francisco and Los Angeles, we understand the importance of research in this area. In this article, we'll explore Gottman's Small Daily Habits and how they can improve your relationship.
Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse: Resolving Conflict in Couples Therapy
It’s a scene you know too well: You and your partner are having a conversation, and before you know it, it escalates into a heated argument. You both leave the conversation feeling upset and more distant than before. Sometimes it feels like an emotional apocalypse within our relationships. Here’s what’s actually going on and what to do about it.
Attachment and Emotional Intimacy: Understanding Trauma Dumping
There's a fine line between opening up and oversharing. We've all been in an awkward situation with that, right? Those moments when you're just getting to know someone, and suddenly they unleash their deepest traumas on you. It's like emotional TMI, and it's called "trauma dumping."
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We offer individualized teletherapy for a wide range of mental health and relational issues. Our San Francisco & Los Angeles therapists can help with anxiety, trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, LGBT gay and lesbian therapy issues, holistic therapy, enneagram therapy, therapy for lawyers, couples therapy, therapy for burnout, and therapy for teenagers. We serve many people in San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and Los Angeles, as well as throughout California and Florida. Our team is anti-racist, body positive, LGBT and trans affirming and sex positive. You deserve to feel good!