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How The Enneagram Can Help Couples
Because it focuses on motivation rather than behavior, the Enneagram helps us understand why our friends and loved ones do the things they do. When we understand someone's motivation, it makes things less personal and increases empathy. This is hugely helpful to couples when addressing communication and conflict.
How To Overcome The Challenges LGBT Couples Face When Planning a Wedding
Planning a wedding is can be exciting. But for LGBT couples, the process often comes with challenges that straight couples may not have to consider. Here are our LGBT therapist approved tips for couples to plan a wedding that truly reflects your love while minimizing stress.
What to Do If You’re Smothering Your Partner: A Guide to Self-Soothing
So your partner just told you you’re smothering them. Ouch! That stings. If you’re wondering where to go from here, we’ve got a plan.
What No One Tells You About Getting Married: Emotional Prep for the Big Day
Most of us grow up hearing that getting married will be one of the happiest days of our lives. We imagine joy, celebration, love, and maybe a few happy tears. What we don’t often talk about? The emotional complexity that can come with such a major life transition.
Protecting Your LGBT Relationship Against Political Stress
The first half of 2025 has been particularly difficult for our LGBT community. As we are all aware, political unrest and targeted efforts to strip away our rights have accelerated in recent years. These forces have taken an especially heavy toll on our trans siblings. It’s in times like these that relationships within our community are tested. Here are ways to fortify your LGBT relationship against the political stress we are facing.
Does My Fiancé Asking for a Prenup Mean They're Planning to Divorce Me?
If your fiancé just brought up getting a prenup and your stomach dropped a little, you’re not alone. It's easy to associate prenups with worst-case scenarios or imagine it as someone saying, “I don’t trust this to last.” But in reality, a prenup isn’t about preparing to leave—it’s about planning to stay. And more importantly, it’s about protecting both of you.
A Couples Therapist Reacts to Love Is Blind
What reality TV can teach us about real relationships – from a Los Angeles couples therapist.
8 Questions That Show Your Partner You’re Truly Listening
Have you ever been in the middle of a deep discussion and found yourself at a loss for what to say? Here are 8 loving questions you can ask to keep the conversation going and deepen your connection to your partner when they’re stressed, hurt, upset, or grieving.
What To Do If Your Partner Acts Differently Toward You Around Family or Work Colleagues
Noticing your partner behaving differently around family or colleagues can feel confusing or even hurtful. They might seem more distant, overly agreeable, or act in a way that feels out of character compared to how they are in private. While this shift can be unsettling, it doesn’t always mean something is wrong in your relationship. Understanding the underlying reasons and addressing them with care is key.
This One Phrase Can Help You De-Escalate Conflict Immediately
There’s one simple phrase that can shift the tone of a heated conversation, calm tensions, and foster collaboration. Our therapists recommend it as a great way to diffuse a heated situation.
Why is Moving So Stressful for Couples?
Moving stirs up all of our most sensitive inner issues: money, security, connection, community, and meaning. Understanding why moving is so challenging for couples can help you navigate this stressful time with patience and teamwork.
Is It a Bad Idea to Schedule Sex with My Partner?
Scheduling intimacy isn't a bad idea—it’s actually one of the best ways to prioritize your relationship. Protected time for closeness ensures you’re making time for the person who matters most to you. Here's what our couples therapists have to say about scheduling sex and intimacy.
Age Gap Relationships: Can They Work?
It’s true that a big age difference can bring unique challenges, but these relationships can definitely work. Like intercultural or interfaith couples, the key to success is empathy, respect, and open communication. Let’s look at why age gaps can be tricky and how couples can overcome the challenges.
When and How to Take a Break During a Heated Discussion
We’ve all been in a heated discussion that spirals out of control, leaving both parties feeling frustrated and misunderstood. Knowing when to take a break can be the key to maintaining healthy communication. Sometimes, taking a break allows for a more productive conversation later. But how do we know when to take a break? And how do we regulate ourselves so we can come back with a cool, clear head?
What Does Healthy Conflict Look Like in Relationships?
Healthy conflict is important for a satisfying relationship, while avoidance can lead to distance, resentment, and dissatisfaction. Understanding how to make conflict productive helps build a strong and satisfying partnership.
How Couples Can Be Less Codependent And Move Toward Interdependence
While closeness in a relationships feels good, losing your independent sense of self isn't good for anyone. Transitioning from codependence to interdependence—a state where partners support each other while maintaining their own identities—requires effort. Here's how to do it.
What is Codependency? A Couples Therapist Explains
The term "codependency" is used to describe relationships where one person seems to lose themselves in the needs of another. Originally rooted in the context of addiction and substance use, the term has broadened to include a range of unhealthy relational dynamics. Let’s explore what codependency is and how it manifests in relationships.
What to Do If Your Partner is Smothering You
If you feel like your partner is smothering you, it's important to address the issue in a way that respects both your needs and theirs. Understanding why this might be happening through the lens of attachment can be a helpful first step in finding relief for both of you.
Five Ways Internalized Homophobia is Ruining Your Relationship
We can't live in a society that discriminates against us LGBT folks and not have it effect us. It also affects our closest, most sacred relationships. Here are subtle ways it might be showing up and what to do about it.
What’s the Difference? Relationship Dealbreakers, Incompatibilities & Perpetual Problems
Relationships are beautifully complex. They can be challenging, with issues that test the strength of your bond. Understanding the differences between dealbreakers, incompatibilities, perpetual problems, and differences in core values can help you navigate your relationship better and determine when couples therapy might be needed.
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We offer individualized teletherapy for a wide range of mental health and relational issues. Our San Francisco & Los Angeles therapists can help with anxiety, trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, LGBT gay and lesbian therapy issues, holistic therapy, enneagram therapy, therapy for lawyers, couples therapy, therapy for burnout, and therapy for teenagers. We serve many people in San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and Los Angeles, as well as throughout California and Florida. Our team is anti-racist, body positive, LGBT and trans affirming and sex positive. You deserve to feel good!